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Always help yourself first

Tags: funny, help, yourself
Nothing is too late if youre brave enough

Tags: funny, late, youre, brave
Dont wear a cap when youre bald and its the hottest its been in England in years

Tags: funny, dont, wear, youre, bald, hottest, england
Go home grandma youre drunk

Tags: funny, home, grandma, youre, drunk
Youre resume looks great however to prove you are worthy of being a Sensei here you must complete one final task

Tags: funny, youre, resume, looks, prove, worthy, sensei, final, task
Spotted on a bars entry If youre on the streets and your nose itches dont take off your mask remember you would never take off your pants if your butt itched

Tags: funny, spotted, bars, entry, youre, streets, nose, itches, dont, mask, remember, pants, butt, itched
If youre ever bored remember theres a website that has a live map of all the broken McDonalds ice cream machines in the US

Tags: funny, youre, bored, remember, theres, website, live, broken, mcdonalds, cream, machines
And also a universe where youre funny

Tags: funny, universe, youre
You know youre getting old when the cops start looking young

Tags: funny, youre, getting, cops, start, looking, young
In case you didnt know youre too late

Tags: funny, didnt, youre, late