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My fortune cookie actually came with a warning

Tags: funny, fortune, cookie, actually, warning
Im not sure if I should feel threatened or reassured by my fortune cookie

Tags: funny, feel, threatened, reassured, fortune, cookie
Sorry fortune cookie but NOPE

Tags: funny, fortune, cookie, nope
I feel like I got the wrong fortune

Tags: funny, feel, wrong, fortune
Got Chinese delivery for my first real meal after puking my guts up all of last night My fortune cookie delivered a bad omen

Tags: funny, chinese, delivery, real, meal, puking, guts, night, fortune, cookie, delivered, omen
My fortune cookie predicts that I have an exciting future ahead of me

Tags: funny, fortune, cookie, predicts, exciting, future, ahead
Meta fortune cookie

Tags: funny, meta, fortune, cookie
I cant not read this to the tune of that one Lady Gaga song

Tags: funny, cant, read, tune, lady, gaga, song
My nephew asked me to read him his fortune cookie

Tags: funny, nephew, read, fortune, cookie
Good news Im in the works of my upcoming cookbook just effin eat it stay tuned for release date badmoms

Tags: funny, news, upcoming, cookbook, effin, stay, tuned, release, date, badmoms