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Youre a terrible toilet Youll never amount to anything Your father never loved you

Tags: funny, youre, terrible, toilet, youll, amount, father, loved
My dad leaves random amounts of time in the microwave on purpose to piss everyone else off

Tags: funny, leaves, random, amounts, time, microwave, purpose, piss, else
Paramount Pictures is my Uncle

Tags: funny, paramount, uncle
Shocking his teachers said hed never amount to anything

Tags: funny, shocking, teachers, amount
The best way to reduce the amount of dust in a house

Tags: funny, reduce, amount, dust, house
Getting some exercise in the mountains

Tags: funny, getting, exercise, mountains
So we need to talk about the amount of time youve spending around here

Tags: funny, talk, amount, time, youve, spending
Im so proud of my fellow Canadian for reaching this mountain top

Tags: funny, proud, fellow, canadian, reaching, mountain
I feel like the kitchen is reacting to the amount of cookies Ive eaten this holiday

Tags: funny, feel, kitchen, reacting, amount, cookies, eaten, holiday
TIL our house is built on a mountain

Tags: funny, house, built, mountain